Rory, I first followed you when you posted the story of your beloved Cabbage going missing in the dog walker's van but thankfully being found along with several other companions hours later. I also felt for you when you had to say goodbye to Cabbage last year-it's so hard when they have to leave us... Later, of course Sophie came into your lives with all of her (unknown at the time) struggles... It must feel like such a battle sometimes yet you are doing everything you can to help her heal-so what if sometimes you forget the guidance you are given..the most important thing is you keep going. I have 2 labradors I love dearly. I suppose as the academic noted they are my fur babies, we are certainly a family pack... They are both around the same age (5yrs) & the slightly younger lab, Brinkley is a rescue from the streets. It was certainly a labour of love & patience on my part in the early days as I'd never had a rescue before-also he was the opposite of Sophie & hyper- attached. I couldn't move without him following me everywhere-the legacy of a young street dog I guess...but very trying at times. Also I'm not sure having had previous rescue experience to draw on would have helped me anyway -each rescue situation seems to have it's own particular qualities, as you are, of course, completely aware. However, 3 years have since passed & his progress is palpable-no magic wands- just constancy, love & buckets of patience(on my part). My 2 labs are now a bonded pair with him often wedging his way into Jessie's basket to snuggle up for comfort. Thankfully I am now able to leave Brinkley for around 3 hrs which is such a relief & a return to some sense of normality & ease. I often think of you when I see your posts & wonder how you cope with the opposite - Sophie's reluctance to be close...but she is gaining more confidence- that's clear. I remember the photos you posted of your morning walk & the pathway across the Common with Cabbage,until one day it was just a photo of an empty path...The path is still there awaiting your return & one day soon you will be posting one of Sophie on there I'm sure. Keep doing what you are doing!
Well done Rory. When Sophie does explore beyond the front door you will need to understand another world of relationships when she meets other dogs. So much can go wrong if she hasn't been socialised and if the owner gives off anxiety. There is whole vocabulary of reaction dogs go through when they meet on a walk and if the lead is taught or the owner apprehensive, it all makes the dog feel more anxious . We adopted a stray from Ireland and he eventually turned into the most amazing dog but he could find meeting other dogs quite stressful and we had to learn to read his reaction.
I think there might be another story in there for you to explore? Take Care
Lovely piece Rory. It struck a chord. I lost my beloved Ruby a few years back and thought I’d never recover. I waited a few years before getting another dog, and now have Sadhbh. She, like Sophie, has caused me much anxiety along with much happiness. As a collie, she has a very high herding instinct and I have really struggled to curb it. We did plenty of training and she is perfect in every other respect but she will not easily allow anyone out of the house without trying to herd them back in. Unfortunately, this led to a herding nip to one of my granddaughters and she is now not allowed in the house when my granddaughter visits which is heart breaking as they were previously very close. It was my fault, Sadhbh was very young and ambitious and just doing her job. I should have seen (and do in hindsight) that she was being a bit over zealous. Even though she has outgrown this behaviour to some extent, she still herds and I am now like a cat on a hot tin roof in fear of it ever happening again. She is a loving, kind, clever, beautiful girl and the thought that I let her down by allowing her to get into that situation is awful. She is now best friends with my other grandchildren but will never know the one she initially knew the best as was just preventing from leaving ! It has divided us as a family a bit and was a completely unexpected consequence of getting a new puppy. I love her to bits and would rather die myself than lose her but there will forever more be a fear in me that she will get herself into trouble if I’m not there to keep her out of it. I’m lucky that my daughter and husband love her as much as I do and are her guardians when I can’t be around. I’d hate to think what would have happened had I not had them for back up. Love and anxiety in equal measures for sure .
Best of luck in building Sophie us, you are both doing an incredible job. Bernie Carney (Cobh, Ireland)
Loved reading this and following Sophie on Instagram. We have a Romanian rescue called Lola, we've had her 3 years yesterday. She was also a terrified pup who arrived on a van. Over the last 3 years she has come out of her shell but she's still very nervous. Some days we have great walks, some days she's too nervous and we don't, but we work on it. She's nervous of new people but has so much love for those in her circle. I was so naive before we got her that all dogs love to walk and chase a ball but actually they're all so individual and have been through different traumas. I've definitely done the laying awake worrying too! But she is the best companion I could ever ask for in her own way and I can see Sophie is yours too.
Following your interactions with Sophie has certainly created a positive feeling for my mental health Rory. Seeing how she has started to come out of her shell, especially in the last couple of weeks is giving me the same feelings that I had when my rescue dog Coco started to come and sit with me rather than at the other end of the house by the door. That was years ago now, and he still likes his own space sometimes. Later in the evening though he looks at me with those big eyes and then at the sofa. He knows he'll be invited up and up he comes.
well done Rory. Its worth the trauma . She looks the sweetest of dogs and I am sure she will soon be dragging you out for morning walks. I have a lovely miniature pincher which was found in a wheelie bin as a puppy and she is now a wonderful companion
I’m reading this while we’re dealing with Clearing post A-Level results. My daughter is currently on hold with a uni, sat on the sofa and stroking our German Shepherd. He’s been giving attention all morning to us and his interactions seem to be dissipating the stress.
I smiled when I learned that ‘scientific validation’ had confirmed something I’ve known, innately, since childhood…( Langland’s term: ‘kynde wyt’ covers it nicely IMHO). But what you say is the tip of a large iceberg. A close relationship with our dog transcends words; although scant verbal interaction is involved, it is irrelevant to the deep feelings of compassion, empathy, comfort and mutual acknowledgement experienced. Our own Romanian rescue dog has been with us for three years now, and we hardly leave each other’s side. She still exhibits surprising regression at times, e.g. when a grandson who adores her was relating an incident and waved his arms suddenly, she backed into a corner and barked: possibly a trigger of memories relating to children in Romania. (Understandably, fear of rabies there may still result in children reacting hostilely to stray dogs). Patience is essential, it goes without saying. Sophie will trust her good fortune a little more each day. Having said which, the psychological traits of both human and canine still lurk, and we should be prepared… our dog now happily lets me bath her, and even apply pad wax to her paws. But past attempts to have her claws trimmed at the vet have resulted in such behind-the-scenes struggles that on both occasions she limped for weeks afterwards. So nowadays we just do regular walks on Breckland sand, and pray that her dental problems, which necessitated a four hour surgery for extractions - as long as my husband’s cardiac surgery - won’t recur.
Like the character of Simon in ‘The Cazalet Chronicles’ by Elizabeth Jane Howard, my uncle took comfort in a canine companion after the extended, locked-in trauma of his WW2 experiences; again, no need for words. We should never underestimate the beauty, honesty and truth of our relationship with another creature. Perhaps this is why most of us recoil with horror when this is subverted by violence and cruelty. Healing is a river that flows between us, if allowed to thrive.
I can definitely relate to bonds with dogs. During lockdown when I was almost totally on my own with 2 mad labs. They kept me going I talked to them all the time. When life got horrendously bad they would give me a cuddle. I often joke about barking instead of talking.
There is no doubt that therapy dogs, and other animals, have a positive affect on mental health. I think empathy between dogs and humans is two way. Although it is difficult to assess dogs psychological state.
Rory, I am certainly a believer in the loving contact between humans and dogs, and the interactions in your household with Sophie are a steady upward trend. Your sense of humour underlying your posts, fuelled by your researcher's tenacity always turns up something new. The best side of social media and a bright improvement to everyone's day.
Very interesting!I was brought up to respect all creatures including humans!Dogs are the love of my life!They know when you need a cuddle...even had one that locked away my tears when I was sat on the stairs crying...he just knew!Although I have no dog of my own at the moment I have a great friend and also a cousin both with beautiful dogs who I see a lot and they come for sleep overs!This lifts my spirits so much...if you allow it there is definitely a connection between dogs and us!Watching Sophies progress has been very hard to watch sometimes but now she is starting to come out of her shell..and the behind the sofa...you can see the change on her eyes and body!Well done for helping her and letting us into her life...she is going to be a very happy dog!She will help you in return soon!Rainbow x
Thank you for this Rory. Following Sophie's progress over the months has been inspiring. The information here about oxytocin is particularly interesting. I have a rescue ex-racing greyhound who is blind and I can now feel rather less foolish when I say that I miss having eye contact with him. In other ways, he is a lovely, affectionate companion and he's very popular in the neighbourhood - he gets served in the coffee shop before I do - because he is very calm and friendly and is endlessly patient while people stroke him. But I still miss the eye contact.
I own a wayward terrier mix who is a nervous lad, fairly disobedient, stubborn and wilful at times. I’ve loved him since we brought him home as a pup of 12 weeks but when my mum died and I felt my grief would be never ending, it was that little ball of fur that helped me. He mourned her with me (she lived with us) and never left my side. We walked our grief together, over hills, in forests, just walking in silence. And even though I had loving support from my humans, it was this terrier that reminded me to live. He sat with me, sometimes bringing a scarf of hers out of her room and sitting on it. Remarkable how he sensed my loss and also his own. There’s a bond between us that I can’t explain or quantify or fully figure out but he is a therapy dog even though he doesn’t realise it.
Rory, I first followed you when you posted the story of your beloved Cabbage going missing in the dog walker's van but thankfully being found along with several other companions hours later. I also felt for you when you had to say goodbye to Cabbage last year-it's so hard when they have to leave us... Later, of course Sophie came into your lives with all of her (unknown at the time) struggles... It must feel like such a battle sometimes yet you are doing everything you can to help her heal-so what if sometimes you forget the guidance you are given..the most important thing is you keep going. I have 2 labradors I love dearly. I suppose as the academic noted they are my fur babies, we are certainly a family pack... They are both around the same age (5yrs) & the slightly younger lab, Brinkley is a rescue from the streets. It was certainly a labour of love & patience on my part in the early days as I'd never had a rescue before-also he was the opposite of Sophie & hyper- attached. I couldn't move without him following me everywhere-the legacy of a young street dog I guess...but very trying at times. Also I'm not sure having had previous rescue experience to draw on would have helped me anyway -each rescue situation seems to have it's own particular qualities, as you are, of course, completely aware. However, 3 years have since passed & his progress is palpable-no magic wands- just constancy, love & buckets of patience(on my part). My 2 labs are now a bonded pair with him often wedging his way into Jessie's basket to snuggle up for comfort. Thankfully I am now able to leave Brinkley for around 3 hrs which is such a relief & a return to some sense of normality & ease. I often think of you when I see your posts & wonder how you cope with the opposite - Sophie's reluctance to be close...but she is gaining more confidence- that's clear. I remember the photos you posted of your morning walk & the pathway across the Common with Cabbage,until one day it was just a photo of an empty path...The path is still there awaiting your return & one day soon you will be posting one of Sophie on there I'm sure. Keep doing what you are doing!
Very Best Wishes
Jane
Well done Rory. When Sophie does explore beyond the front door you will need to understand another world of relationships when she meets other dogs. So much can go wrong if she hasn't been socialised and if the owner gives off anxiety. There is whole vocabulary of reaction dogs go through when they meet on a walk and if the lead is taught or the owner apprehensive, it all makes the dog feel more anxious . We adopted a stray from Ireland and he eventually turned into the most amazing dog but he could find meeting other dogs quite stressful and we had to learn to read his reaction.
I think there might be another story in there for you to explore? Take Care
Lovely piece Rory. It struck a chord. I lost my beloved Ruby a few years back and thought I’d never recover. I waited a few years before getting another dog, and now have Sadhbh. She, like Sophie, has caused me much anxiety along with much happiness. As a collie, she has a very high herding instinct and I have really struggled to curb it. We did plenty of training and she is perfect in every other respect but she will not easily allow anyone out of the house without trying to herd them back in. Unfortunately, this led to a herding nip to one of my granddaughters and she is now not allowed in the house when my granddaughter visits which is heart breaking as they were previously very close. It was my fault, Sadhbh was very young and ambitious and just doing her job. I should have seen (and do in hindsight) that she was being a bit over zealous. Even though she has outgrown this behaviour to some extent, she still herds and I am now like a cat on a hot tin roof in fear of it ever happening again. She is a loving, kind, clever, beautiful girl and the thought that I let her down by allowing her to get into that situation is awful. She is now best friends with my other grandchildren but will never know the one she initially knew the best as was just preventing from leaving ! It has divided us as a family a bit and was a completely unexpected consequence of getting a new puppy. I love her to bits and would rather die myself than lose her but there will forever more be a fear in me that she will get herself into trouble if I’m not there to keep her out of it. I’m lucky that my daughter and husband love her as much as I do and are her guardians when I can’t be around. I’d hate to think what would have happened had I not had them for back up. Love and anxiety in equal measures for sure .
Best of luck in building Sophie us, you are both doing an incredible job. Bernie Carney (Cobh, Ireland)
Ugh, lots of typos there - apologies 😀
Loved reading this and following Sophie on Instagram. We have a Romanian rescue called Lola, we've had her 3 years yesterday. She was also a terrified pup who arrived on a van. Over the last 3 years she has come out of her shell but she's still very nervous. Some days we have great walks, some days she's too nervous and we don't, but we work on it. She's nervous of new people but has so much love for those in her circle. I was so naive before we got her that all dogs love to walk and chase a ball but actually they're all so individual and have been through different traumas. I've definitely done the laying awake worrying too! But she is the best companion I could ever ask for in her own way and I can see Sophie is yours too.
Following your interactions with Sophie has certainly created a positive feeling for my mental health Rory. Seeing how she has started to come out of her shell, especially in the last couple of weeks is giving me the same feelings that I had when my rescue dog Coco started to come and sit with me rather than at the other end of the house by the door. That was years ago now, and he still likes his own space sometimes. Later in the evening though he looks at me with those big eyes and then at the sofa. He knows he'll be invited up and up he comes.
well done Rory. Its worth the trauma . She looks the sweetest of dogs and I am sure she will soon be dragging you out for morning walks. I have a lovely miniature pincher which was found in a wheelie bin as a puppy and she is now a wonderful companion
I’m reading this while we’re dealing with Clearing post A-Level results. My daughter is currently on hold with a uni, sat on the sofa and stroking our German Shepherd. He’s been giving attention all morning to us and his interactions seem to be dissipating the stress.
I smiled when I learned that ‘scientific validation’ had confirmed something I’ve known, innately, since childhood…( Langland’s term: ‘kynde wyt’ covers it nicely IMHO). But what you say is the tip of a large iceberg. A close relationship with our dog transcends words; although scant verbal interaction is involved, it is irrelevant to the deep feelings of compassion, empathy, comfort and mutual acknowledgement experienced. Our own Romanian rescue dog has been with us for three years now, and we hardly leave each other’s side. She still exhibits surprising regression at times, e.g. when a grandson who adores her was relating an incident and waved his arms suddenly, she backed into a corner and barked: possibly a trigger of memories relating to children in Romania. (Understandably, fear of rabies there may still result in children reacting hostilely to stray dogs). Patience is essential, it goes without saying. Sophie will trust her good fortune a little more each day. Having said which, the psychological traits of both human and canine still lurk, and we should be prepared… our dog now happily lets me bath her, and even apply pad wax to her paws. But past attempts to have her claws trimmed at the vet have resulted in such behind-the-scenes struggles that on both occasions she limped for weeks afterwards. So nowadays we just do regular walks on Breckland sand, and pray that her dental problems, which necessitated a four hour surgery for extractions - as long as my husband’s cardiac surgery - won’t recur.
Like the character of Simon in ‘The Cazalet Chronicles’ by Elizabeth Jane Howard, my uncle took comfort in a canine companion after the extended, locked-in trauma of his WW2 experiences; again, no need for words. We should never underestimate the beauty, honesty and truth of our relationship with another creature. Perhaps this is why most of us recoil with horror when this is subverted by violence and cruelty. Healing is a river that flows between us, if allowed to thrive.
I can definitely relate to bonds with dogs. During lockdown when I was almost totally on my own with 2 mad labs. They kept me going I talked to them all the time. When life got horrendously bad they would give me a cuddle. I often joke about barking instead of talking.
There is no doubt that therapy dogs, and other animals, have a positive affect on mental health. I think empathy between dogs and humans is two way. Although it is difficult to assess dogs psychological state.
Thank you very interesting post, as always
Rory, I am certainly a believer in the loving contact between humans and dogs, and the interactions in your household with Sophie are a steady upward trend. Your sense of humour underlying your posts, fuelled by your researcher's tenacity always turns up something new. The best side of social media and a bright improvement to everyone's day.
Very interesting!I was brought up to respect all creatures including humans!Dogs are the love of my life!They know when you need a cuddle...even had one that locked away my tears when I was sat on the stairs crying...he just knew!Although I have no dog of my own at the moment I have a great friend and also a cousin both with beautiful dogs who I see a lot and they come for sleep overs!This lifts my spirits so much...if you allow it there is definitely a connection between dogs and us!Watching Sophies progress has been very hard to watch sometimes but now she is starting to come out of her shell..and the behind the sofa...you can see the change on her eyes and body!Well done for helping her and letting us into her life...she is going to be a very happy dog!She will help you in return soon!Rainbow x
Thank you for this Rory. Following Sophie's progress over the months has been inspiring. The information here about oxytocin is particularly interesting. I have a rescue ex-racing greyhound who is blind and I can now feel rather less foolish when I say that I miss having eye contact with him. In other ways, he is a lovely, affectionate companion and he's very popular in the neighbourhood - he gets served in the coffee shop before I do - because he is very calm and friendly and is endlessly patient while people stroke him. But I still miss the eye contact.
Perhaps Sophie is homesick for Romania. I'm sure Britain must smell very different from Romania
Rory, love your work and your story - I am such a fan of your updates but new to this format and so loving the longer form content.
Looking forward to developing more dialogue around the wonderful world of dogs and their impact on our mental health.
Have you come across Niall Harbison? He rescues strays in Thailand and discusses mental health positives from that
https://instagram.com/niall.harbison?igshid=NjIwNzIyMDk2Mg==
I own a wayward terrier mix who is a nervous lad, fairly disobedient, stubborn and wilful at times. I’ve loved him since we brought him home as a pup of 12 weeks but when my mum died and I felt my grief would be never ending, it was that little ball of fur that helped me. He mourned her with me (she lived with us) and never left my side. We walked our grief together, over hills, in forests, just walking in silence. And even though I had loving support from my humans, it was this terrier that reminded me to live. He sat with me, sometimes bringing a scarf of hers out of her room and sitting on it. Remarkable how he sensed my loss and also his own. There’s a bond between us that I can’t explain or quantify or fully figure out but he is a therapy dog even though he doesn’t realise it.